Thanksgiving and Age

What seniors can be thankful for

Two recent comments really grabbed my attention. I was in Boca and practicing at a driving range when one of the older gentlemen practicing at a tee near me said, “You should join our Kaker’s league”. I took great offence and told him,” I am not nor have I ever been a Kaker. On the other hand, I fully accept being an Alter Kaker.”

The difference is that the former is something I would have earned through kaker like behavior, but the latter I earned by getting up every morning for over 70 years. I accept the latter with honor, I take great umbrage to the former.

The second comment was uttered by Doctor Anthony Fauci, my go to medical guy. When discussing how families should handle Thanksgiving, he pleaded with everyone not to go to family gatherings and possibly spread the virus throughout the family. To make the point more strongly he shared that he and his wife were having Thanksgiving alone at their house but sharing with his grown daughters on Zoom. We who have already done Seder Zooms and High Holy Day zooms are way ahead of our non-Jewish fellow citizens. But what really hit home to me was that it was his daughters who took the lead on doing the Zoom events because as he said and I quote, “ I hate to say these words but they weren’t coming, to safeguard their elderly dad”.

In that moment I felt a real bond with Dr Fauci. Do you believe he is approaching his 80th year? He does not look it, act it, or I gather from his remarks, feel it. But his birth certificate is undeniable for those who still believe in facts. But what does the number really mean? Here are some examples of what it means.

I went to a dermatologist to have my annual cancer screening. While I was there, I asked him what these brown things are that keep appearing on my body? I would be scared but I remember my dad getting them and they spread and grew significantly in his later years. My doctor gave me a thorough scientific explanation. “They are Alta Kaker spots”. I hope his residency was not too expensive.

When I enter a room no woman notices. There was a time that never happened, but to be fair, now no one notices when I enter a room. The last time I entered a large gathering the only one who noticed turned out to be a pick pocket.

I have more money than my dad had at this stage of life but that is because of inflation and I inherited from him.

I wake up every morning to a game show that plays in my head, “Guess what hurts today”.

The only thing that grows larger than my waist is the list of delicious foods my body now rejects. Who knew that the jingle, “When you least expect it, you’re elected, you’re the star today, was originally written for Rolaids?

I used to be somewhat technologically adaptive. Now I cannot figure out what all the features are on a new television, nor why I would want them?

For technological help and cultural updates, I have a panel of 7 grandchildren to guide me. That is of course if they have the time to answer my text. It is apparently against the law for them to read emails or to pick up the phone. I sometimes slip in a text that they respond to because they started off thinking it was one of their friends.

My life in general but certainly in Covid is light on schedule and almost devoid of appointments. I put, “go shopping” on my calendar so I will feel I have something I must do that day. Nevertheless, I fall asleep in front of the tv at about 9.30 every night even when watching excellent tv and wake up without an alarm at 7am or before, for no good reason.

So, Doctor Fauci, this is what it means to be, “an elderly dad” and I want to take this opportunity to say thank you to all who contributed to my being here.

To my parents who conceived and raised me, to my doctors who have always taken care of me, to my children who gave my life its real meaning, to my wife who cares deeply about me and who tolerates a growing waistline but not a fat head, to my grandchildren who assure that my existence will not soon be forgotten, and my friends who have stood by me in happy times but even more in sad and difficult times.

Becoming an alta kaker is not a pejorative description, it is one of life’s goals and if you make it in good health, it is one of life’s greatest accomplishments. On Thursday we will celebrate a thanksgiving for 2 around the kitchen table, but first the clan will gather on zoom, a visual presentation of what to be thankful for.

I hope you and your family will also have a safe, healthy, and connected thanksgiving.

On a related matter I recently found out from a past congregant who lost her father that she wanted me to officiate at his service but did not think I was still doing that. Luckily, she heard of a wedding that I had done and called me. I told her that I retired from the daily grind of being a congregational Rabbi, but I never retired from being a Rabbi and as long as I have strength I look forward to officiating at many more lifecycle events. The ability to still be there for people is another thing I am really thankful for.

As always please feel free to share with family and friends.